Sales Breakthroughs: The More You See, The More You Sell

Most salespeople think the path to closing more deals is about polishing their pitch.

But here’s the truth…

The most powerful sales tool you have isn’t your pitch—it’s your ability to be aware.

Aware of yourself.

Aware of your buyer.

Aware of the emotional environment in the conversation.

Story

I have had the opportunity to work with hundreds of salespeople and entrepreneurs in their efforts to sell their products and services. There are many stories of success and failure. Let me share one of those success stories with you.

Jim, an owner and a “natural” salesperson, started his company about 12 years ago. It has grown into a leader in the industry. One day I was riding along with Jim, watching him “do his thing”. It was clear he loves what he does.

Sometime later in the afternoon, we stopped to get a soft drink and talk about how things were going. I asked Jim about his sales style. Being an owner of his company, he has a different perspective than his salespeople. More confidence, better understanding of what he is trying to accomplish, greater flexibility in what he can offer to customers.

I made a statement to Jim, “You really don’t have any fear in you when you are selling.” The answer I got back surprised me. Jim said, “Wrong! I am filled with fear. Fear I will blow the deal, fear I will say the wrong thing, fear of how I will show up for the potential buyer.”

I took a minute to process what Jim said. Then I asked a simple question, “How do you navigate that fear?” Again, his response was interesting, “I just push through, but at the end of the day I am completely spent.”

Jim is typical of many entrepreneurs and salespeople who look like they have it all together but live in an emotional environment that resembles a rollercoaster. Jim’s challenges were not his sales skills or his drive or his IQ. He is smart enough, skilled enough, and driven enough to grow a very successful company.

But at what cost?.

Jim’s challenge was ending each day with nothing left in the tank. His ability to come home at the end of the day and enjoy his family and his personal time were significantly diminished.

Several days later, Jim reached out to me:

Jim: “I have been thinking about our conversation. Is there a way to do what I love doing without all of the drain?”

Me: “Jim, when the oxygen mask on the plane drops down, what are you supposed to do?”

 Jim: “Put it on yourself first so you can then help other people.”

Me: “Exactly. What happens if you don’t take care of yourself?”

Jim: “I guess you won’t be as good serving others but isn’t that being selfish?”

Me: “Is being at your best to be the most helpful for others being selfish?”

Jim: “I never thought about it like that. Wow, that really makes me rethink the way I have been doing things.”

And that is when I was able to begin working with Jim on infusing emotional intelligence skill development into his daily activities. The critical turning point? Jim’s awareness (self-awareness, a competency of emotional intelligence) was ignited and he realized there was a better path forward.

Years later, I look back at that conversation as an inflection point in the direction of the work I am doing. “Equipping people to prosper” is my mission. Prospering comes in many different forms. One of the most important forms of prospering is the ability to create a mindset that is resilient, agile, adaptive, and emotionally intelligent.

In a world that is constantly changing and demanding more and more of us, the best way to be prepared is to create a mindset that is strong, resilient, and embraces growth. But that is not enough by itself. Jim thought he had to “go it alone” because he was the owner. He came to realize that surrounding himself with people who could provide different perspectives, skills, and insights actually reduced the load he was carrying.

The Science Behind Why Awareness Wins Deals

Neuroscience tells us that emotion drives up to 95% of buying decisions (Zaltman, Harvard Business School).

Here’s why this matters:

• When you’re not aware of your own emotional state, you can unintentionally project stress, urgency, or doubt—emotions that erode trust.
• When you’re not aware of your buyer’s emotional cues, you miss the moments when they’re curious, concerned, or ready to move forward.

High self-awareness allows you to manage your presence.

High situational awareness allows you to guide the conversation based on the buyer’s emotional reality, not just your sales script.

Another Case Story: Doubling Close Rate by Changing the Conversation

One salesperson I worked with—let’s call him Mark—was great at presenting features and benefits. His pitch was airtight. But his close rate hovered at 22%.

Through our work together, Mark realized he was treating every sales conversation like a performance instead of a connection. He rarely paused to check in with his own emotional tone—or to read his buyer’s.

We implemented a pre-call “awareness check” and an in-conversation “emotional pulse” technique. Within 90 days, his close rate jumped to 45%.

His feedback was telling:

The 3-Question Emotional Check Before Every Sales Conversation

1. What am I feeling right now?

(If you’re tense, rushed, or distracted—reset before you start.)

• Why this matters: Emotions are contagious. Neuroscience calls this emotional contagion—your buyer will pick up on your state even if you never say a word about it. If you start the conversation carrying stress, urgency, or frustration, you risk transferring those emotions to your buyer, which can create resistance instead of receptivity.
• EI connection: This is self-awareness—the first and foundational competency of emotional intelligence. By naming your emotion, you create space to manage it before it manages you.
• Impact: Resetting your state allows you to be more intentional in tone, body language, and pacing, which builds trust from the very first moment.

2. What do I think my buyer might be feeling going into this conversation?

(Are they skeptical, curious, frustrated, hopeful?)

• Why this matters: Every sales conversation begins in an emotional environment—and it’s not always a neutral one. Your buyer might be distracted from a meeting that ran over, frustrated from a vendor issue, or cautiously optimistic about finding a solution. If you don’t acknowledge this context, you risk missing the emotional undercurrent that drives their decisions.
• EI connection: This is empathy—accurately perceiving the emotions of others and understanding their perspective. Empathy doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say; it means you start where they are, not where you want them to be.
• Impact: Anticipating your buyer’s emotional state allows you to adjust your approach, ask more relevant questions, and create a connection that feels personal and respectful.

3. How can I show up in a way that builds trust and safety for them?(Match their pace, acknowledge their concerns, validate their perspective.)

• Why this matters: People buy when they feel safe—safe that they’re making a good decision, safe that you’re credible, safe that you understand their needs. Without psychological safety, even the best solution can be stalled by doubt.
• EI connection: This is social skills—using awareness of your own emotions and others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully. It’s where emotional intelligence turns into visible influence.
• Impact: When a buyer feels understood and not pressured, their brain shifts from a defensive, risk-averse state to an open, collaborative state. This dramatically increases your ability to guide the conversation toward a decision.

Why This 60-Second Reset Changes Everything

This quick check-in primes both your internal state and your external approach. It aligns with three of the five core emotional intelligence competencies—self-awareness, empathy, and social skills—which research shows are directly linked to higher sales performance.

Salespeople with high emotional intelligence 

outperform their peers by 20% in sales results

and 50% in customer loyalty metrics.

~Harvard Business Review

In other words: mastering this small, intentional habit can move the needle on both your numbers and your relationships.

The most powerful sales tool you have isn’t your pitch—it’s your ability to be aware.

Why This Matters More Now Than Ever

In a sales world that’s increasingly digital, your competition isn’t just other salespeople—

it’s distraction and distrust.

Buyers are overwhelmed, skeptical, and short on attention.

Your edge isn’t louder pitches.

Your edge is the ability to make your buyer feel:

• Heard (you actually understand them)

• Understood (you “get” their world)
• Safe (you won’t waste their time or lead them astray)

That’s what awareness does—it turns a transaction into a trusted relationship.

Turning Awareness Into a Repeatable Sales Advantage

Awareness is a skill. Like any skill, it can be measured, developed, and turned into habit.

​If you’re ready to close more deals—not by working harder, but by working smarter​—we can help.

The difference is the emotional connection they create. 

The most powerful sales tool you have isn’t your pitch—it’s your ability to be aware.

Join us for this week's podcast as we discuss: